Double Bind

damned if you do, damned if you don't

double bind is a dilemma in communication in which an individual (or group) receives two or more mutually conflicting messages. In some scenarios (such as within families or romantic relationships), this can be emotionally distressing, creating a situation in which a successful response to one message results in a failed response to the other (and vice versa), such that the person responding will automatically be perceived as in the wrong, no matter how they respond. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind

• Double bind theory was first stated by Gregory Bateson and his colleagues in the 1950s,[1] in a theory on the origins of schizophrenia. It was theorized that schizophrenic responses were a reaction to an individual facing competing demands, leaving them with no clear way of responding.[2]
• Double binds are often utilized as a form of control without open coercion—the use of confusion makes them difficult both to respond to and to resist.
• cf matrix management

http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/treatments/famsys/dblebnd.htm

http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/Abpsy/lecture13.html

http://www.envf.port.ac.uk/illustration/images/vlsh/codepend/dbind.htm